I didn’t start out fat.
As far as I know, I was an average sized baby. With a long head. My parents (read: father) thought that I was disabled because of my long head. Turns out, I just have a big head. Somewhere along the way I went from being a lanky tallish girl, to being a BIG girl.
I can psychoanalyze it all for you at a later time, but the short version is this:
I learned very little about nutrition from my parents. My mom got a job at Krispy Kreme when I was in the eighth grade. I’d eat four donuts (cinnamon twists to be exact) for breakfast, lots of junk for lunch, and return home for more donuts. I went to my first trip to Weight Watchers that year. Somwhere along the way, food became a coping mechanism for me. A way to cope with the pain of social isolation and fear, and with the unhappiness at home.
Fast forward five years…It’s my first year of college.
I am one the largest girls in the freshman class at my all-the-girls-are-skinny Ivy League school. I learn about nutrition, start to exercise and I lose most of the excess weight. After graduation approaches, I am stumped. What does a woman like me do now? The weight starts to creep back on. Old habits come back.
200 pounds comes…
and goes…
202..
210..
212..
220…
225…
247.
It’s been almost 7 years since I graduated from college.
I am now 28. Married. A mother. A teacher. And very fat.
(See the number above.)
Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I got caught up mentally in past pains, and I.let.myself.go.
I’ve said it. It’s true.
But a recent trip to see old friends reminded me of who I am, and what I want. I want to see my son live. I want to travel the world. I want to grow old with my husband.
I want to me proud of myself again.
So, I’ve joined the challenge (www.50millionpounds.com) in order to free myself.
Join the ride.
I was always the skinny, skinny girl until college. Somewhere along the line I read that people eat as a comfort to depression. So whenever I was depressed in college, I ate. I mean I consciously at food knowing full well it would make me fat because I heard that is what people do when they were depressed. Isn’t that crazy? I could eat a whole pizza. At my college, you could order a large pizza from this place called Gumby’s for $5! Needless to say I ate a lot of those.
I also realized after college that I had no sense of real nutrition. God bless my parents but they did not teach us that. We did not eat very healthy growing up. So when I went to college I had no idea what to eat or what food groups I should have been focusing on consuming. I knew veggies and fruits were good for you but I did not realize they should ALWAYS be the primary focus in meals.
Now that I have a family of my own, I realize that I could kill them slowly through bad cooking habits. So it is important that I use all of my newly found nutritional skills to give my family, especially the children, a healthy life.
It is not easy eating healthy. Food can truly make you feel better when you are down. And it does taste so good. It does not help that often healthy food does not taste as good. But I have learned that if you are a good cook, you can make anything quite delicious!
I am on my way. Good luck to you!